Stilettos or Savings

Money, Love, and Confidence — Lessons from the Other Side

If I could, I’d sit down with 25-year-old me—in a tent in Baghdad, sweating through an ill-fitting Army uniform, wearing boots that never fit, surviving on MREs and lugging around an M-16. No closet full of shoes, no nights out drinking, no sex, no scenic travel, and not a clue about investing. Just porta-potties, inflatable showers, rationed water, and rats chewing through her hairbrush and bra hooks.

She was exhausted and tired of pretending she had anything all figured out. She didn’t. But that version of me? She had grit — and she was about to learn a few things the hard way.

Here’s what I’d tell her:

1. You are not bad with money. You just never learned the rules.

No one teaches you about compound interest between ruck marches. The Army gave you a paycheck — a very tiny one — but not the financial playbook. Eventually, you’ll figure it out on your own, and when you do, it’ll change your life.

But the foundation was there. As a kid, you turned down an allowance because you didn’t want to be a burden. You rolled coins, organized coupons, and sometimes “borrowed” a second Sunday paper from the stand just to double up on deals. You weren’t reckless — you were resourceful. You just needed knowledge and tools.

2. Debt is a shackle disguised as freedom.

It feels empowering to swipe a shiny new credit card — until you’re stuck paying it off years later. Debt is heavy. And once you feel what it’s like to live without it? You’ll never put those chains back on.

Stay tuned for the second part of what I’d tell my younger, dumber, naive self.