Stilettos or Savings

I have a female coworker who loves asking me for fashion advice but never actually follows it. It makes me wonder: do people really want advice, or do they just want an audience?

She was recently invited to a family member’s black-tie wedding and immediately started complaining about the cost. A dress, shoes, hair, makeup, nails, and the gift. I told her my secret. I never spend hundreds on dresses when I can find them for $10 with the tags still on. I even sent her Mercari and Poshmark codes for another $10 off.

The next time I see her, she is venting about how she braved Bloomies and Nordstrom, tried on half their stock, and finally “scored” a $300 navy gown. “At least it’s navy,” she rationalizes, “so I’ll get lots of use out of it.” This from a woman I have only ever seen in sneakers at the office. Unless the Met Gala relocates to our lunchroom, I do not think she will be needing a rotation of evening gowns anytime soon.

Suddenly, we’re talking heels—open toe, heel height, how much fabric to hem. I keep it simple: choose something you can actually walk in, and pack a little “survival kit” with blister pads, insoles, and all the tiny lifesavers that get you through a night of standing and smiling. But as she dismisses my suggestions, I cannot help thinking that some people do not want advice at all. They just want to monologue.

Which brings me to my bigger question. Have you ever been invited to a black-tie wedding that almost made you not want to go? Even without airfare or hotel, her night is pushing $1,000 before the shower gift. At what point does “special occasion” tip over into “just plain rude to your guests”?

• $300+ gown
• Shoes, hair, makeup, nails (let’s conservatively say $300 more)
• Wedding gift + shower gift ($200–300 at least)

That’s over $1,000 for the privilege of celebrating. At what point does the expense cross the line from “special occasion” to “just plain rude to your guests”?

Is it weird I wish she had just given me half of her $300 dress budget and her size so I could find her a dress and shoes?

If you are attending a black-tie event and want to stay fabulous without overspending, here are a few options I love:

If you are attending a black-tie event and want to stay fabulous without overspending, here are a few options (obviously sizes vary but this is an exercise meant to show you it can be done cheaply and beautifully).

Dresses AND Shoes for Under $100:

1. Royal Blue Glam
   • Dress: NWT Royal Blue Calvin Klein, $19
   • Shoes: Cinderella’s Chunky Sparkly Heels, $34
   • Total: $53 | Coworker Would Save: $247
2. Kelly Green Goddess
   • Dress: NWOT Kelly Green Calvin Klein One Shoulder Goddess Dress, $61
   • Shoes: Green Satin Chunky Heels, $13
   • Total: $74 | Coworker Would Save: $226
3. Red Carpet Ready
   • Dress: NWT Sexy Red Ralph Lauren, $75
   • Shoes: Red Satin Open Toe Chunky Heels, $11
   • Total: $86 | Coworker Would Save: $214
4. Emerald Elegance
   • Dress: NWT Emerald Green BHLDN (Anthropologie), $38
   • Shoes: Green Satin Chunky Heels, $13
   • Total: $51 | Coworker Would Save: $249
5. Sequin Showstopper
   • Dress: NWT Mac Duggal Stunning Sequin Gown, $62
   • Shoes: Champagne Chunky Heels, $28
   • Total: $90 | Coworker Would Save: $210
6. Classic Gray
   • Dress: Gray BHLDN (Anthropologie), Like New, $20
   • Shoes: Strappy Silvery Chunky Heels, $36
   • Total: $56 | Coworker Would Save: $244

💡 Tip: All these combos are under $100 and include shoes you can actually walk in. Pack a small survival kit with blister pads or cushioned insoles so you’re ready to dance all night.