The Four Worst Pets, or… Why I Need New Neighbors

So… I may have written an email to animal control. Now, listen up… I am not an animal hater. We have a very adorable cat who you can follow on Twitter (@zim_flash). I don’t even just hate dogs… but Mr. Cabbage and I both very much love peace, quiet and the freedom to SLEEP! If we didn’t love sleep so much maybe we’d consider children… NAH!

While talking to our realtor about our intention to sell, I fretted about how you even hold an open house with loud, boisterous animals sitting in the kitchen window of the townhouse next door scaring anyone who comes near our house. At our realtor’s suggestion my first step was emailing the insanely overpriced condo association who is always quick with their threats to tow cars or shutdown an Airbnb.

Sadly, they didn’t want to take a stance on how many dogs is permissable or how much noise they are ok with them making. The president referred me to the city… which led me to animal control. They were so set on shutting down my Airbnb which helped me pay 7% of my mortgage last year when in the previous eight years I had only paid 13% COMBINED…. I highly recommend hosting an Airbnb if you can… but I digress.

Hello,

I am not sure what can be done, my neighbor has four dogs, which I have been told may be a violation of City law. The dogs bark very loudly anytime anyone comes near my residence. They wake me up nearly everyday. Is there anything I can do about this? It has gotten so disruptive, I am considering selling my property to get away from the situation.

Their address is XXX. Please let me know if you need additional information. Thank you so much for any help you can provide in advance.

Respectfully,

DC Beth

Now, I don’t know what you would expect if you were to write an email to any city department… but I expected nothing. No action, no response and for that email to fall into a deep dark hole of oblivian.

However, Mr. Cabbage called me the very next day at work to tell me Animal Control was standing in our parking spot, and taking note of the poorly behaved dogs who were barking feverishly in the kitchen window the neighbor’s kitchen. How exciting! I had written and my voice had been heard.

My neighbor (the adult male) waited for me in his kitchen window and came out to meet my car when I arrived home from work that day. He confronted me about having called animal control and said they had been there. Duh… I have spies. I know things.

Then he went on to tell me that the dog was his mother-in-laws and they took the dog in when she passed away. Yes, I know I’m a monster.

Do you know how much money I am spending on a house where the FOUR dogs is all I hear sometimes? He said his family would fix the issue but shock collars were cruel and also they are trying to move to a bigger house.

I believed him and left the conversation excited. Mr. Cabbage asked me where the “For Sale” sign was… hmmm…. good question! I see your point sir.

Stay tuned… I’m pretty sure we’ll be hearing more from these folks.

What do you think did I go too far? What would you do if your peace was being stolen?

**PLEASE NOTE** This is not the first time I have gotten immediate response from a government official. Stay tuned to hear how I wrote my Congressman and saved three years worth of interest on my student loans!

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